For Sure. The
Von Braun Civic Center is a Rocket
An Honors History student at the U of Rocket City has uncovered a treasure
until now hidden in the archives of Huntsville’s history, a trove of design
sketches for the soon-to-be constructed Von Braun Civic Center. The file, once
in the possession of the now defunct architectural firm Smyth, Tuckett, and
Hairdryer, LLP, has in it the image reproduced above, which, astoundingly,
proves that the Von Braun Civic center was intended all along to be a rocket.
The student, checking out his find
at the Army Missile Command, was initially told by Col. Quentin ‘Quickfire’
Johnson, “No way. It’s too fat. Too short.” But when our student pointed out
the Civic Center cum Rocket is in
fact “no fatter or shorter” than the missile represented in Rocket City’s
former logo, Johnson hesitated. “Maybe, maybe not.”
The
Civic Center, beloved venue for dozens of gun swaps, childrens’ beauty pagents,
and sales events for bass boats and obsolete computer parts, has long been thought
to have unused capacities inherent in its design. “Where am I,” people were
often heard to say. “Where’s the fucking restrooms?”
Given
the implications of the design sketch, the Civic Center’s board of directors
have ordered that the facility will be shut down from July 13 through July 16
to check to see if there might be a warhead in the dome. That matter being
settled, the ice in the main hall will be melted and the usual 461 tons of dirt
will be brought in to prepare for this years’ Tractor Pull and Motocross Race scheduled
for July 18. The band Alabama will
provide the music during the Pulls and Races.
We
are thrilled to know it’s just possible that a great many of us in Rocket City
will soon do more than reach for the stars. We’ll be going up there. Or at least
in that general direction.
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